Desserts

Wrapped in pleated paper and foil, twisted at the ends like a Christmas cracker, the Hairy Bikers jam roly poly bakes inside its own parcel. What comes out is a risen suet sponge with jam spiralled through every slice. British Classics keeps it to “simple store-cupboard ingredients”, just flour, suet, sugar, milk and jam. Si …

A custard tart is the plainest bake in the British repertoire, and the Hairy Bikers custard tart keeps it that way on purpose. Crisp pastry, silky vanilla cream and a roof of grated nutmeg, and nothing else gets in. Brilliant Bakes jokes that it is “much too good for throwing at anybody”, a wink at …

Rhubarb and custard usually means a bowl and a jug, but this Hairy Bikers rhubarb and custard tart rebuilds the pairing in pastry. Each of the eight slices carries about 590 calories from British Classics, and the fridge handles most of the four and a half hours. The book calls this “a tart to be …

Proper rice pudding needs a brown skin on top, and this Hairy Bikers recipe grows one in the oven. Brilliant Bakes gives it two and a half hours at low heat, so six servings cost about 370 calories and almost no effort. Si writes that his mam “made proper rice pudding like this, always with …

Four egg whites become a crisp shell with a soft middle in this Hairy Bikers pavlova, so the texture is the whole point. Mums Still Know Best serves six with cream and berries, at about 530 calories in two and a half hours. “Is it from New Zealand? Is it from Australia? Who cares? It …

Brioche takes the place of plain bread in this Hairy Bikers bread and butter pudding, and raspberries with orange zest lift it further. British Classics serves six from one dish at about 760 calories, in around 90 minutes. “We think this is one of the all-time great British puds,” the book says, “and we’re pretty …

Dates make this Hairy Bikers sticky toffee pudding what it is, because 200g of them melt right into the dark sponge. The recipe comes from British Classics, serves eight at about 560 calories, and is ready in 50 minutes. The book calls it “the greatest of Cumbrian classics” and recommends it for a rainy winter …

This Hairy Bikers black forest trifle from British Classics layers homemade chocolate custard over Kirsch-soaked brownies, black cherries, and amaretti biscuits. It serves 8 at around 1,060 calories and takes about two hours including the chill, with no baking at all. The headnote says “chocolate custard, cake and booze, what’s not to like?” and the …

This Hairy Bikers banoffee pie recipe from Perfect Pies has a chocolate Hobnob base, homemade hob toffee, and five bananas layered with whipped cream at around 600 calories per slice. It serves 12 with no baking needed, and the whole thing comes together in about two hours including the chill time. Si and Dave say …